John Schultz's unlikely tale of a 13-year-old orphan who becomes as good at basketball as Michael Jordan every time he puts on his magical Nike trainers is certainly not afraid of product placement. Possibly not since Mac and Me, 1988's E.T. ripoff, in which all the action happens in or near a McDonald's, has the connection between owning a brand and having a jolly good time been made so explicit.
The lucky pup who finds the trainers with the initials "MJ" on the tongue is played by Lil' Bow Wow, real name Shad Moss, the teenage rap star whose albums have given kids a positive role model in the violence-fixated world of hip-hop. He holds his own well in his first lead role, despite being surrounded by sevenfoot giants.
But the plot will only really appeal to small children. All the clichès are here: Moss is the plucky child who, despite his big league success, just wants a family to call his own; Crispin Glover is the slimy orphanage boss; and thuggish Jesse Plemons plays the bully who discovers compassion in the final reel. Then there is the miracle, which only seems to happen in films involving sport or bombs, where the hero appears to have nine seconds left on the clock but the film gives him about a minute and a half.
Morris Chestnut is not tested playing the selfish sports star who learns how to love, and the soppy conclusion is obvious throughout. Of course, Moss doesn't need magical trainers - he just needs to believe in himself. Yet when he finally removes his old shoes, he replaces them with a shiny pair of Nikes.
Got that, kids? You do need fancy trainers to be successful. The shops are still open.
Like Mike
Cert: certPG
