To hold and to have, in sickness and when well: how council forced couple to amend traditional wedding vows deemed 'too religious'

A couple were forced to rewrite their wedding vows after council officials told them they could not legally say the phrase “in sickness and in health”.

As Louise and Gary Lidington made their final wedding preparations, they received an urgent phone call from a Tower Hamlets registrar who warned them their vows were “too religious” for the civil ceremony.

The phrase “to have and to hold” was also deemed too Christian because it was too close to the Church of England’s Book of Common Prayer for their non-faith ceremony at Wilton’s Music Hall in Whitechapel.

Instead the council ruled that to it would be acceptable to say “to hold and to have”.

The couple were also allowed to replace “in sickness and in health” with “in sickness and when we are well”.

Mrs Lidington, 39, a PR executive, said that she and her barrister husband had chosen the original words as they sounded traditional and thought the formalities of the service had been agreed since February.

But on Friday afternoon she received a message from the registrar informing her of the legal problems.

The couple said they had no choice but to agree to the change of wording or face having to call off the ceremony.

They were so confused by the change that Mr Lidington stumbled over his lines as he said the new vows, while his wife was overcome by a fit of giggles.

Mrs Lidington told The Daily Telegraph: “Ever since I was 11 I just imagined that they would be the words I would use when I married my husband.

“It just seems ridiculous that words which don’t mention religion could be so problematic.”

A Tower Hamlets spokeswoman said: “We apologise for the short notice that Mr and Mrs Lidington received regarding changes to their chosen vows.

“It was important that their civil ceremony complied with the relevant legal process, and we worked closely with the couple to ensure that the vows they exchanged on their special day were as close as possible to those they had initially chosen.”

Mr Lidington, 43, surprised his wife during the speeches afterwards by asking her to join him by reciting the vows they had originally intended.

Religious elements such as hymns or Bible readings have been officially banned from civil ceremonies since 1837.

But the rules were relaxed eight years ago when the civil weddings system was overhauled, allowing couples to choose songs that contain religious references, such as Robbie Williams’ Angels.