Buck's Club, off Savile Row, is famed as the model for PG Wodehouse’s Drones, where Bertie Wooster was always happy and the champagne cocktail Buck’s Fizz was invented. Last night the Londoner headed there for the launch of The Speedicut Papers, edited by Christopher Joll, a spoof of a Victorian military cad which made it into the Times as an April Fool’s joke. However, the hall porter objected to the Londoner’s shoes, a fine pair of Skecher’s Shape-ups in subtle shades of grey. “No trainers in this club, sir, sorry,” he said, pointing to the club noticeboard.
The Londoner suggested borrowing his as, being behind a desk, no one would see his feet. He was unamused. Then a good chap from Four Colman Getty PR offered his shoes, suggesting the Burlington Arms 50 yards away for the exchange of footwear, but his were too big and vice-versa. So he stayed nursing a pint of Adnams bought by the Londoner. “Make sure you bring them back and don’t be longer than 20 minutes,” he said.
Back at the party one of Joll’s chums, Michael Portillo, laughed at the tale until it was pointed out that his predecessor as Defence Secretary, Denis Healey, always wears trainers. Poor Burlington Bertie, the Londoner quite forgot him, but after an hour and a half inquiries were made. “He’s very happy in the pub,” his colleague said. “People took pity on him because he has no shoes and they bought him a drink. He has his eye on a scotch egg.”
