Chapel of the chavs
The marquee is up. The chapel has been built. Even the traditional family disputes have had a good airing. Everything is in place for the christening of Brooklyn and Romeo Beckham.
The ceremony is to take place tomorrow evening in a private chapel in the grounds of the Beckhams' Hertfordshire home.
It will, naturally, be awash with celebrities. Sir Elton John will be there - he is one of the godparents, as is his partner David Furnish - and so will Elizabeth Hurley, who either is, or is not, due to be a godmother, depending on which report one chooses to believe.
Geri Halliwell, Emma Bunton and the two Mels are said to have accepted invitations, making it the first time the Spice Girls have been under the same roof since Victoria threw a dinner party nearly two years ago in an attempt to bury the hatchet with the rest of the group.
Hatchets, however, have a habit of not staying buried in the world of Mr and Mrs Beckham. According to usually reliable sources, Beckham's parents are furious that no family member from their side will be a godparent, while Victoria's sister, Louise, and brother, Christian, are both due to be godparents. But another set of reliable sources says Louise and Christian will not be godparents.
Wayne Rooney is expected with his girlfriend Coleen McLoughlin, as is Sven-Goran Eriksson and Nancy Dell'Olio, and Beckham's former team-mates Phil and Gary Neville. Simon Fuller, the exmanager of the Spice Girls, is also invited, as, apparently, is Tom Cruise.
Female guests have reportedly been told not to wear anything revealing. Victoria, expecting her third child in March, is said to be insecure about her figure.
The recently completed christening chapel has a white angel above its arched entrance. To get there, guests will walk past fake ruins, built to recreate the crumbling walls of the church where the Beckhams were married in Ireland. At its entrance appears to be a Buddhist shrine.
